nO tiMe 2 bLoG, sOrRy...

I have so many things to share, but recently I haven't got the time to sit and post on my blog, mainly because many things have been happening...

My computer´s battery is hardly holding any charge, so I have to come our "power house", this little cement cabinet, 5 minutes behind our land... it's a blessing that our neighbor Aquiles gave us the key and permission to use it to charge our electric devices, but is not the most comfortable place to sit and write for a long time... it´s usually not a problem for me, but recently, in the end of each day I'm really tired of physical and emotional work...

I'm taking part of the day to do this... it is a rest for me to remember and process things that have passed

...so, I'll be doing that as I share it with you...




After my last posted, I went on a small trip to the Islands of UK to meet some friends who are part of a network called SPEAK ... a beautiful group of friends, mainly students, activists in behalf of different justice issues, free spirits, artists, prophets, nonconformists, peacemakers, active children of God... 

I arrived at the end of the "dance for Justice" party on saturday night... Jo was at the door and she welcomed me in...I immediately felt at home, after a looong day journeying on buses, metros, trains and plane... but it was all worth it in order to see so many familiar faces I've known since my "tour" in Europe in 2005... Emma was there of course as she was quite involved with Louise from the start... I would go to Belfast afterwards, so I knew I would have more time to catch up properly after this...

When I came in, people were chilling out on couches, others having nice conversations, others dancing, others sleeping.... here in my very bad picture is Louise, who started this network, and Mike Love giving a workshop on prayer and repentance... It was nice to see Mike, even for a short while...we had a nice conversation on economics and "leadership" in communities, even though none of us like the word "leadership" in particular... 

He's a common friend of the Winters, the lovely family on the other side of the mountains that I´m often visiting now... Mike was the connection and I'm so blessed for his initiative... I wish Mike comes to visit one day...
It was nice to see Brother Tom from Scotland and get to know Hannah... Lucy was there too...they actually made a "talking circle" about the land the day before, and many people got interested... Patrice from Poland was another surprise to see, and the Dutch guys, Rik and Gerrard, who did a wonderful job with multimedia and music as they often do...they are amazing!

It was nice to see Hannah Housman and meet her husband Johny, and to share a bit about the land...they may come for the permaculture course, but they are still not sure...

It was a nice day, hanging out with friends, listening to good workshops, and simply being...
The day after it finished we had a nice "after party" hang out with those who were still around... I had a wonderful sleep at the Speak office and a rested morning in a nearby park... 

In the afternoon a few of us went to an alternative place called "passing clouds"...amazingly decorated as you can see a bit on the picture... we shared what we're involved in at the moment in our lives, we shared songs and poems, we welcomed "strangers" in our circle, and shared a bottle of Port wine that I brought with me... a feast of friends !!! Louise suggested taking me to eat some curry downtown, and of course I wouldn't refuse it... I had a bus to the airport at 11.30pm , so me and Louise hung out a bit more after dinner in a nice cafe, the same where I met her last time I was in London... we had nice conversations, as always...

Next morning I was flying to Belfast to visit Emma... she was not in such good form, and I was concerned with her...I mainly wanted to be with her, pray with her and support her... At the same time I arrived, another friend of hers also arrived from Manchester... it was perfect...Mareka, is a Dutch woman who is living in Manchester for 20 years now, knowing that that is the place God wants her to be... a gentle and wise woman with a heart to pray... we had a lovely time together, sharing lives and praying for one another... isn't it beautiful to be part of the family of God ?!

I had a lovely time in Belfast with Emma and some of her new friends... It was nice to meet Miriam, who will come for the permaculture course... they have been farming a piece of wasted  land between building blocks in the middle of Belfast, and they have lots of dreams to impact the city and hopefully challenge people to live life in a different way... even within a city context... it was nice to go out for a "pint", and listen to their dreams...

After a few days it was time to get back to the land, and keep on the work I was doing with the prayer shelter...

I knew that "going back" was not only about working...was mainly about being with those God has brought to this place at this time...
while I was in Belfast I got an e.mail from Ton, who was a bit disturbed with some things that were going on... It was not a surprise for me, as I was already feeling that could happen... I was wondering why these kind of things come up every time I go away... it makes me sad, and makes me question what might be the reason...

we had a "talking circle" the day after I arrived, and I expressed my sadness to everyone... I had 2 thoughts : each person needs to realize who they are in the community and which are their individual roles...for me, the strength of a community is when each individual lives up to who they are... and if they don´t know yet, that should make that their priority....people need to realize that they need to play their role in order for the community to function, and the absence of one part cannot disturb so much the function of the whole... I know I have an "overseeing" role, and I'm also aware we are in a very pioneering stage of laying foundations, but all other roles are as important as this... it's not about positions, but about functions... it´s the only way I see a body or a family functioning well...

The other thought I had was that some people might have a problem with the role I have here... whether I like it or feel comfortable about it, I am a leader... and this area is a problem to many... it´s a problem when people see it as a position, or imposition... it´s a problem when they never had good leadership models around them... it´s a problem when they might be projecting on me, the bad leaders they had experienced in the past ... this is a great problem... I have felt, and now I know how it led people to gossip and create factions among us... people were afraid to come and speak with me, so they started to speak on my back and make whatever assumptions they have of me, without giving me any chance to "defend" myself... 

it might be my problem as well, but then I don't understand why I would be a problem for some, but not for all...  I'm still processing all this... I´m still learning...and there's so much to learn...

We´ve spent the whole morning in our "talking circle" because I wanted to hear from each one what happened when I was away...

Sadly it was all because of bad theology being "preached" at the morning prayers by one person... besides that, there were false judgments and false accusations that needed to be cleared out... people got hurt and there was a need for forgiveness... the first step was made during that morning, but more needed to be made the following days...

All this became a bit exhausting... but needed...
It was all around a new couple who came... they sincerely wanted to follow Christ, but the guy spent the last year in the "12 tribes" community in France, and that's where his theology comes from, unfortunately... Their theology is based on a very literal interpretation of the Bible and in my opinion very bad... it´s  very legalistic and judgemental portraying an image of a strict and judgemental God and little of the Loving, Graceful, Merciful God we know... I respect all spiritual paths and cosmologies, but when it comes to those using the name of Christ, I´m a bit more aware because bad theology often drives people further away from God and their own liberation,than it drives people to God.

Any group, and there are many christians like that, who affirm that their way is the only way, I already raise my red flag...
We only know in parts and we can all learn with each other´s paths, but don´t try to force anyone to relate with God the same way you do... not even God demands that...

Some bad theology is really messed up and dangerous... this is actually a good example... this guy was quicked out of the "12 tribes", because he was in love with his girlfriend, and too busy in his mind with that... yet he believes, or was brainwashed to believe, that only in the "12 tribes" there is "salvation"... so, I don´t know what is in his mind... he wants this "salvation" that he thinks it can only be found on the place he was just kicked out from... very messy... we need to be critical of everything we receive as teaching... we need to test things, check with other trusted friends, and especially check if they align with the character of a loving and all-forgiving God. 

One of the main things that can cause division and faction within a community is when we start to think we are the only ones knowing the "truth"... our human nature tends to think that "we got it all", "now we know the right way", etc... this happens with most church denominations, movements, with most religions really... It´s even understandable when we find something that transforms our life for the better and we want to tell everyone about it... But we all have our path to make... we all need different things to work on in life... and maybe that´s why we are attracted or called by different deities, masters or wisdom in our particular lives...

I believe there must be many good things in the "12 tribes" communities, and they must have started with good motivations ( I guess it was to call out the church to be the church, and that´s not bad at all)... but when pride comes in and doors are opened for deceptions such as the one mentioned, that's when it becomes dangerous, and sometimes damaging for the life... When they lose the vision of the kingdom of God, from all nations,tribes and languages, when they separate themselves from the rest of the Body, thinking they are better than others, when they stop having the space to speak to the rest of the body as they intended to, when they don't give space to be confronted as well, then they are making the same mistake as many spiritual people make, seeing themselves as the "chosen ones", missing the point of it all... to be a blessing to all peoples, and not to be better than others... 

this is a problem of human kind... it's our problem if we let pride take control...

There were many other things that didn't sound like the God of Love we know... like believing that the holocaust was God's curse on the jews for killing Jesus (that was Hitler´s beliefs)...that we should obey human authorities even if they are against God (like killing others in wars, like obeying Hitler to kill jewish people, etc...)...

Most of the "preachings" were totally out of context,and so far away from Jesus´ teachings of forgiveness, non-violence and all-inclusive love... There was too much speaking (or preaching) and not much willing to listen to other opinions...

this kind of theology and bad use of the Bible is what has been leading many christians throughout history to support slavery, racism, wars, homophobia, anti-semitism, gender inequality, etc...

I feel we are to stand against this as followers of Jesus, the friend of the poor, the oppressed, the ones who suffer all sorts of injustice in this world... Jesus, who proclaimed freedom for all, who is always on the side of the oppressed, the one who claims no accusation against us... This is The Jesus I want to follow... The One who accepts us the way we are, and daily transforms us into who we will become...

Anyway, we learned a lot during these days, even though it was exhausting...we learned about the way of forgiveness...we learned about unconditional love... we learned about confronting the truth with Love... and most of all, we learned about God's sovereignty... it's not up to us to judge... only God sees the heart...

we do love this couple, and we know their hearts are sincere... that is what makes us sad with all this... they will leave us next tuesday... not because we told them to leave (I believe all those who are here are brought by God for a reason, so it's not up to us to invite anyone to leave...we just need to trust God)... The main reason they are leaving is because her grandmother died some days ago, and she wants to go and be with her sister...
Be praying for them... May they see the Light as they seek The Light...

Darek , our friend from Czech Republic, also left last monday... here he is helping me with the prayer shelter... it was so nice to have him with us... he's such a nice guy... he was really sorry he had to go...he almost cried when me and Jared took him to the bus station... But he wants to come back for the winter... he has a tea tent, and during the summer he goes around to many festivals with a "mobile community", another group of nonconformists called "GodArchy" ...they have reggae music, nice tea, coffee and other products fairly traded, and they also challenge people in issues of Justice and living a different life style not conformed to the world we live in... a convoy of "john the baptists" calling out people to "repent", which literally means "change your way of thinking" and live out differently, out of the oppressive system...

And here's Shiloh... isn't she cute ?!! And she knows it ... we started to call her "scar face", because she's always falling and getting scars... poor one... she's in that stage... she's lovely... she's the daughter of another lovely young couple, Chris and Amelie, who came from California to travel a bit and get a different perspective on their lifestyle... it was too much for them having Chris always working and not having much time for Amelie and baby Shiloh... Amelie was telling me how these few weeks since they have been here seem longer than the 1st year of Shiloh, when time seemed to fly away... They are such nice people, with such nice hearts...and it's wonderful to have a baby around... they want to travel some more before going back to the US, where they live... they are praying about what kind of life will they have back there... they would love to have a piece of land and live in community, but that is really expensive in California...anyway, they are praying, and I'm sure God will lead them... As we can testify with our experience, money is not a problem when things have to happen...

Amelie with Shiloh on her back, Stephi (on Nono's back ) who's also visiting again from Germany, and Dane...they all went shopping vegetables with the donkeys...it's always fun !!!

Here is Dane trying to make Zebrita move... by the way, before she left, Line gave away Zebrita to a man in Fundao who has more horses and one donkey... so, now we're left with Nonolito!

The prayer shelter has been my main work these days... I wanted to put the dirt on top before the permaculture course starts...it's not done yet, but at least the wind will not blow off the roof cover...

I still need to make this kind of edge all the way around... I only made it in the front so far...

It looks like a giant mushroom !
Jared helped me a lot, digging out the dirt from the floor and throwing it on the roof... that was hard work !

Ah!!! and here's our new car...a mitsubitshi pick up L200, from 1991... another blessing... it's perfect for the work we need to do here... Edna and Paulo (my sister and brother in law) lent me 3.500e to buy it this week, and I made the insurance for a year for 223e from the donations I received from some of you... the guy who made the insurance knew this car from the other owner and asked me how much I paid for it... when I said the price, he told me that it was a very good deal, because this car hardly have problems, and this one has not so many kilometers... it was previously from a hardware store who needed to have less expenses...they bought it new and never had big problems about it... I felt at peace, and I'm really glad with it... Now we can get many building materials that we will need for this year... 
I need to pay my sister back as soon as possible, and I also got some friends who would be willing to lend us some money for a year...
SO, if you would like to send some donations to pay it back, it would be much appreciated... let me know...

There's a group of 8 people coming from Germany with Simone, who was with us in the beginning...so, I might post about it next week...
And the permaculture course starts next saturday... it's going to be amazing... let me know if you still want to come... we can still have 3 more people to attend the course...

O.k, I'm off now... it was a delight to share all this with you, and process for myself all that has been happening around me...

well done for getting to the end of it...
Much Love

PEACE

Enjoy a good REST