mOmEnTs iN piCtuReS...

solitude is not lonely at all...I've been having great times with my surroundings... My camera is not that great, but still I have fun !!!
This picture here is the full moon rising...Wow, simply beautiful!!!


TIME IN THE GARDEN :

I've been doing some weeding...don't mind the aspect, weeds and straw on top of the soil makes a nice bed for the plants and hold much more moisture...they love it !!! and I don't spend so much water...
...a little harvest for dinner...

Hmm..."grandma's soup"...the best !!!

...and the first gourgette (or zuchini...I don't know how to spell either) for lunch...delicious !!!

...peppers are looking nice too...can't wait to taste them...

cucumbers as well...this is the best on a hot sunny day !!!

...and the tomatoes are loaded !!! good sheet mulch, with kitchen compost, shit pit compost, coffee powder, and donkey poop... all good stuff !!!

A DAY IN NONO'S LIFE :


Morning exercise!!! As I go down I see him trying hard to stand up...

sometimes I have to help him, but lately he's already standing when I get there... I'm sorry for him, but some times I have to laugh cuz it's really funny to watch...

"- Hey, don't mock me !! I'm old ok?! more than 20 years...what do you think is that for a donkey, hey ?!!"

"- Hmm, is there something I can munch around here?!! I'm a bit hungry..."

"- Here we go, some exercise...it's called Nono's Yoga...just for you not to think that I only eat the whole day...It's handy to scratch as well"

"- to the left..."

"- ...Now to the right...see it's easy!!!"

"- Hmm, why dogs can lay on the couch and I don't? It's not fair..."
Nono likes company...even during my siesta, he just comes and stays around... one day he was trying to play with the dogs...he run around the big bus for more than 10 minutes chasing the dogs who were totally scared and didn't stop barking... I don't think Nono understands why...eh, eh, eh, that was a fun time...

"- Baba, do you wanna play hide and seek?!!" (I just corrected my spelling error..I wrote hide and "sick", which would be much funner...not sure if you can say "funner" as well, but at least the computer doesn't say it's error...eh, eh...writing on my second language isn't easy...but can be fun)

"- what?!! Again !!! can you stop with those pictures..."
:-)
In the end of the day he's happy...so he lays on the ground and rolls...

THE DOGS :


this would be a greatt picture if they were a rock band :-)

... or maybe this one...it would be hard to choose...eh, eh...

"- How can I be a rock star now with this ridiculous outlook..."
Muxima had a flu and needed to take some medicine...but eventually got a bad reaction and now I need to cover some little holes on the side where the stuff is coming out...poor one...but she's almost good now...

"-Maybe with Nono in the back I can be a country music star...I don't look that bad do I ?!!"

"- Sorry to say girls, but I'm the star here ! "... :-)
the spot Muxima chose for her bed...the shower tub... eh, eh...she does love water !!!

" - Can I stay on the chair?! Look at my cute eyes !!! "
I can't resist it !!!

And this is what I've been doing most of these days...

...collecting and taking useless things away...that have been piling up in every corner... I've been into cleaning and tiding up for more than 3 weeks now...and it's not even close to be all done...

And to finish, just to report a huge fire that took place in the mountain just around here... :-(

When we see smoke like that on the sky, for sure there's fire...
Andy, Vonny and the kids were here last sunday and we started to hear plains coming and going... this was around 4pm...and the fire was only controlled around 10pm...
It looked scary... I really respect and admire fire-man(or woman)...

... next morning they were still there making sure everything was off... It got really close to houses and the village "Vale dos Prazeres"... it must have been scary for those who live there...
Please remember in your prayers to pray for the fires in Portugal...every year, lots of woods get burnt... and it's such a shame... pray also for the people who sometimes loose all they have, and sometimes their lives... or see old trees they grew up with, being totally destroyed...

O.K, I hope you liked my picture report...and the little comments :-)...

Be Peaceful !!!

mOre On mOnAsTiC LiFe...(pARt 2)

I was replying to David's comment and it end up being too long... so I make it as Part 2, from the previous post :-) :
I wonder the same David...
I do know people who want to live in community, but for different reasons they 're not taking that step yet... I do know some who do live in community (maybe in a different way and context, but they do), but they are in other places, as they felt called by God... And I know people like you who have a similar vision for a monastic community, but for some reason, we're the only ones committed to the places we are...
We're all spread out in different places, which might make us feel "alone" sometimes and ask God " where is the community?"... but the truth is that we are not alone, and we're not out of our minds, as we know God is calling out many people these days to live the same way...
I think people like us, and places like the ones we're living are simply preparations... we are preparing a place for others to come and God is preparing ourselves... sometimes I even think that I'm preparing something for others to live it, not necessarily for me... (it would not be the first time God would do that)... and it's ok... what matters is that we know we are on this place, at this time, doing what we're doing... and only God knows why ...
But I believe the time will come when people will be ready to commit themselves as we are committing now... so we need to embody what we see in the spirit first, so that those who come after us may see that embodiment in us... does this make sense?
I do want a more permanent community here ( I long for that since I came), a small one (between 5 to 10, not more)... I'm waiting and wondering who would those be... I would love that "those" would be some of my closest friends who I know share the same desire... but even that, it's out of our hands, cuz we don't really choose the ones we'll be a family with... I know it will not depend on my choice, but in God's...
I'm grateful for the different experiences I've been having with the different groups of people who passed by so far (some I even thought would be the ones who would commit, but no...)... these experiences are teaching me lots about living in community, about my own role in this place, about my own weaknesses and failures...and it has been helping me a lot to discern more about what God wants for this place, and mainly what God doesn't want... (if I'm allowed to say that)
So, I see it all as part of a process... all my thoughts, meditations and prayers throughout these last 3 years (and not only mine of course ) are birthing in the spirit the shape that this community will take...
When I was thinking about the vision for this place I made a the drawing of a tree... well, and we know trees take ages to shape and mature ... some more than others...
Like the seasons : I see many fruits sometimes, I see many seeds being sprouted, but I also see leaves falling down and an apparent death being exposed and naked... eventually they all pass... and a new season starts...
There is no hurry in nature... actually, there's lots of patience and perseverance... but eventually what is to come, comes... and it's all in God's hands, not ours...
I planted many trees last year... I gave them all the same care... but some died... some are still struggling to survive this hot summer... and some are strong and rooted... That's the same with people... not all who pass by are to create roots here... some are not made for this climate or they are not strong enough themselves to handle the harshness of the soil at this pioneering stage... "only the strong survive"...I'm not thinking the way some people think about humans living in society, but this is a truth among animals and plants...
and maybe some places, those that are breaking ground and opening new paths, need strong people... not in their own strength (not perfect ones either, nor super-heros), but strong in their weakness and vulnerability, strong in prayer and their dependence on God, those rooted On The Rock...
We are to simply obey to the call we received and to try to live each day as a new day... knowing that God is in control...

Some might be resisting the calling... some might be waiting for the right time (as they are in a time of preparation themselves), some might have responded to that call and when faced with the difficulties of it, they give up... we don't know really... and I don't want to say with this that anyone is failing... all the reasons that prevent people from committing to a life of community are valid...
"COMMITMENT" , that's the word... but not all are ready for it... it's a scary thing... it needs to be gradual... like in a relationship... those who fall in love take time till they decide to get married... we need time to process the idea...and some are faster than others... some respond too fast, and along the road they give up...some take ages to decide, but when they do it, they go till the end , no matter what...
we all need time to fall in love with the idea of community, and allow that Love to grow in such a depth and desire for more, that then, we are ready to COMMIT...
Communities, like the church (for me it should be the same), is Jesus who builds up, not us... we cannot force it, we cannot do it ourselves...
... our work will be in vain...unless Jesus builds the community :-)
Does this make any sense ?!!!

mY tHoUgThS oN mOnAsTiC LiFe...

I opened the mount of oak blog and I noticed its title : "Monastic, Life-giving, Eco - community"...
It is in itself a prophetic definition of this place as there's not really an established community yet...so far, I'm the only one committed to live here on a long term basis... it has been an itinerant community of different groups of people who come and go... I still wait for those with the same desire to commit to live a monastic life together...
But what stuck out to me was the word "MONASTIC", and this rough meditation started... (sorry for the length and english mistakes)

"Monastic"... what does that mean in my mind ?
yes, this will be simply my definition, or simple thoughts about it as I let my brain storm...and most probably it will not sound as mystic as some people may see monasticism... so, I apologise in the first place for my ignorance and demystification of this term...
When I think about monasteries I think about communities which emerged in times when "the church" was going through some big crisis of identity, when its structures and institutionalisation were suffocating what Jesus intended the church to be (if ever Jesus intended the church to be as it became, an institution)... After Peter said to Jesus that he is the Messiah, the Son of The Living God, Jesus replied : "on this rock (and I'm sorry to say but I don't think Jesus is referring here to Peter but the declaration he just spoke), I will build my church"... So the church should be of Jesus ONLY, and ONLY Jesus is able to build it (sorry "church planters", but you should change your occupation's name) ... If it's not Jesus building His church, gathering men and women who know deeply in their hearts that Jesus is the Messiah, The Son of the Living God (this men and women includes prostitutes, handicaps, thieves, gays, business people, etc...even politicians), then, it is not church ...(I hope you excuse my terms and a bit of humour)... It is easy to do churches, or plant churches, even playing churches, but who knows who is the church of the Living God... only God himself I guess... and I guess we'll all be surprised when we figure that out one day...
Anyway, in times when men and women felt far from being the church, far from being a simple fellowship of broken brothers and sisters, friends of the Messiah, there was a tendency to retreat from the world/system and the institutionalised church, to simply get focused on GOD ALONE... and monasteries emerged ... these were probably people who were well involved in "church activities" and "successful ministries", but who were feeling far from the Source and the simplicity of the Gospel : " to love God above all things and to love your neighbour as Jesus Loves us." (interesting the word "neighbour" in portuguese means both "the one who is closer", or "the one who comes after us"... but I'll leave this meditation for another time)...

O.K, I went too far already on the introduction here, sorry about that...this will be a long post I warn you...

I was reminded by God about why I wanted to live in a community in the country side... it was not only because I love to live in/with nature; it was not only because I wanted to escape the world/system (Babylon) and find a refuge myself; it was not only because I wanted to live together with other people... But, I dare to say , I felt called to live this life this way...
For many years I desired to live like this, but the time was not the right one yet... when I came here I was going through a journey of questioning what "the church" is about and I really felt we were (and are) in such times as the ones I referred before... We need monastic communities to emerge... both in the country side and in city contexts... and I know it is happening already... we need voices in the desert calling out the church to BE the church...
Yes, we need to go out into deserts (where there's nothing to distract us) , to refocus on God ALONE and in what God called us to be in this world...
There is a need of places of prayer and devotion to God where people can stop their busy lives to hear the quiet and still voice that cries out inside of each one and keeps calling us to be who we're supposed to be... children of The Living God...
A sign that this is a real need in our days is that thousands of people are attracted daily to go to places like "Taize" to pray, or walk the "Camino de Santiago" ... even those who say not to believe in God...

In my opinion, a monastic life should be a calling from God (either for life or for a season), it shouldn't be only for the "mystics", it shouldn't be a thing of the past, but it should be a reality today, it shouldn't be only for institutionalised monks or nuns, subjected to an official Order and obligatory vows and strict structures... (just a note here: I believe we should not make any extra vows besides the one to follow Jesus, loving God above all else and loving all fellow human beings)
Here's my small brain storm on the word "Monastic"...


I noticed that most people who pass by here feel uncomfortable with some of the major aspects of a monastic life (again I remember that this is simply my ideas on a rough meditation)
This things are : REST, SOLITUDE & SILENCE.

A monastic life, in a way, confronts the church and society life styles, which are often very BUSY, LONELY in the midst of crowds (different then solitude) and very NOISY... (so in a way is understandable that people feel uncomfortable... it's not a bad thing, but it is a bit like a cultural shock)

But let me go through some of these aspects:
REST...
It is important and healthy to work (which should also be part of a monastic life), but we shouldn't let the work become overwhelming nor stressful... work should be a blessing, and should never be done expecting anything as an exchange... we should work as a simple attitude of service and love (unfortunately some monasteries become businesses and loose the main focus of devotion to God)

I can tell you that living in a farm in such a pioneer stage, work is something that never ends, we can constantly see things that need to be done... It is a discipline to stop working (and for some that's really hard)...
So, REST is the key to reach this discipline. A rest which does not make you feel guilty or lazy because there's so many things that need to be done... But a rest that tells us we are choosing the best part (see Martha and Mary's story)... there should be times to work and times to stop working... cuz work will never end... I take this really seriously here...

Next one...SOLITUDE...
It is vital for a community to have fellowship with one another (the purpose of COMMunity, right?! something in COMMON which brings UNITY :-)...), but we shouldn't let fellowship occupy ALL the time of the day (some people really like that)... we need time and space to be alone and to be with God (that freaks out some people as well), in order for our fellowship time to be of the best quality... Being always surrounded with other people, or any sort of "noise" is a way to avoid our inner self (sometimes our own emptiness), and to prevent God to lead us into the growth we're looking for. Being with our inner self should be part of a monastic living and our growth into God's likeness (both individually and as a body)... Of course, our relationship and fellowship with others confront us with our inner self too (one of the best gifts of community, but also the most painful sometimes)...but we need to set ourselves apart in order to process the actions and reactions that take place within us when we are confronted with others... our instant and human reaction is to always think it's the other people's fault... but it is not even about who's guilty or not... all confrontations are but opportunities for us to look at our inner self and allow God to show us what to do or change (and not just expect others to change)...
So , for me, SOLITUDE is as vital as fellowship... I often say that if I don't have my time alone, I have nothing to give when I'm with other people...and I've prove this to be true in my life...so, I really take it seriously...
people look for company, that is understandable...but if we don't feel comfortable with our own company, we'll always have expectations that others cannot meet...

And at last, SILENCE... which for some can be seen as lack of communication...
Some people need communication ALL the time... either for lack of self initiative, or because they're so uncomfortable with themselves that they cannot bear neither silence nor solitude... or maybe because they lack patience to let silence speak...
yes, silence also speaks...
I agree some things are to be communicated at the right time, on the right way... but if we communicate things only with our spontaneous emotions we may not transmit exactly what we want to say and this often leads to lots of misunderstandings...
If we allow silence to process the thoughts within us, we will have more discernment of when to communicate the right ideas or words...
I do agree though, that there are things (specially when it comes to issues between 2 people) that should be communicated and resolved as soon as possible (preferably with a mediator)... forgiveness should be the breath of every community life...

So, these are some aspects I have in mind when I think about a monastic life in community:
...Living together with a small group of people who know/desire how to appreciate and live in solitude, rest and silence...
...Living together with people with a loving and humble heart, ready to confront and be confronted in love... to forgive and be forgiven... being honest and transparent...
...Living together with people who seek above all else, to be devoted to God, who makes us One with each other...
...Living together with people who are submissive to the basic structures and rhythms we need to function as a body ... yet, being aware that structures and rules are only a skelleton of the body and should not be what is seen... it should be something intrinsic in the life of the community...

But there are other aspects about the monastic life that I have in mind... The fact for instance, that we are not called to live ONLY inwardly but also outwardly focused... (either simultaneously or in specific seasons)
And this makes me think about 3 other things that should be results of a monastic life ( not the life in itself, but fruits of it) , which are :
HOSPITALITY, TEACHING/LEARNING, SERVING THE POOR AND NEEDY (mercy and justice)...

whatever we have to give/offer to others, needs to come from a place where we have received ourselves : either in our individual devotional lives to God (solitude, rest, silence) or in our communal lives with one another...

We cannot offer HOSPITALITY when we lack hospitality within the community (if we don't love and accept one another in grace), or if we have any doubts that God accept us and welcomes us in "the House" the way we are...

We cannot TEACH/LEARN, if we don't receive it from God with an open heart to practice it in our own lives (again coming from solitude, rest and silence)... In the same way, we cannot TEACH/LEARN if we don't have humble and teachable hearts to learn from one another... that's one of the richest gifts of living in community, that each single person has something special and unique to share with the others...

And at last, we cannot SERVE THE POOR AND NEEDY unless we recognise in our own inner self that we too are poor and needy, and that Jesus is in the poor and needy... Not that "they" are less and "we" have something to offer that "they" don't have, but that WE are equals and WE can be compassionate in our own poverty and need...
This realisation need to be also present within the community... not that there's a need for a vow of poverty ( I already shared my opinion about vows), but that there is a need to constantly acknowledge that WE ARE poor and needy...

In all this (and I know it's getting way too long), my ultimate goal is to reach this balance, between my time of prayer and devotion, my time of work, my time of service and my time of rest... to reach a state when is not a matter of time given to one or other aspect, but that it is all one and the same : my life with God.
I want all this to be intrinsic in my life... for I know God has called me to live this life... And if God called me , God will enable me.

O.K, this has gone too far by now... and I myself will have loads to chew on here...
I hope it does speak something to you too, and be free to comment about it...

It's been great to be alone here for the last couple of weeks and to have the time to rethink about all these things again...to have the time to write...and also to enjoy the company and take care of the animals, of the plants and of myself :-)...
Somehow the last years on this place have been a bit busy for me... too many people coming and going, too many changes, to many "issues" to resolve, too many things to think about... And I realise I haven't got enough time for myself , even though some people think I retreat myself too much and I'm too quiet... but the truth is that I need lots of time alone and with God to be sane and to have something to give to others... I'm slow, and I easily get drained when there's too much action around me, or when people seem to demand action from me... and maybe this is just me and my personality... but I'm ok with it...
I'm finally having time to do things I wanted to do for so long... like taking more time to meditate and write... like organising my stuff that was still in boxes since I left Lisbon 3 years ago... like replying the long e.mail list I have (I'm still working on that)... and above all, I'm enjoying simple things like watching the sun set, reading a book, watching the animals, swimming under the hot summer sun... I was doing all this things in some extent, but there is a degree of contemplation that I was missing... It feels like holidays :-)...

I'm really appreciating these weeks by myself... I do love when people are around , don't get me wrong :-)... but I needed this time to refocus myself...
There was only one guy here this week (he leaves after tomorrow), and I felt a bit sorry for him when he said it is too quiet for him... he walked the "camino de Santiago", but in the end of each day he always had lots of people to chat with... we had to laugh noticing how people are different... here am I, so thankful for the quietness, and this guy is stressing out because of it... oh well, as I said in the beginning, I think a life of solitude, quietness and rest is not meant for all (or not at all times)... some might even be resisting it, but hey, I don't have an answer to that, this is all my opinion anyway...

I'm also really grateful for having so many beautiful people passing by (some for longer or more often than others)... I love serving others and I've been served as well... I've received and learned a lot with all...
Now I really feel God is leading me to think back about the "vision" for this place ...I don't want to claim I have it all figured out, but I'll only speak about the glimpses I've had so far... I might be totally wrong as well...
When I wrote the description of this "not yet" community, I wrote it in faith, as what I've seen in the spirit, and not what I see at the moment...
It's a bit like what I'm doing now with the permaculture design of the land... I first designed the land as it is, and now I'll put the layers on top of it as I want it to look in the future...
It might be confusing for some, but I wanna live by faith anyway...I believe in the God who calls out things which are not yet, as if they were...
And I love this God :-) sometimes I think God is too crazy... but anyway, I trust ...
That's why I'm here doing what I'm doing... being who I'm called to be...

I recently asked people to pray for more faith in my life... so I wanna thank all those who did pray...it seems to be working :-) eh, eh,eh...

Ok, I'm gonna finish now, with some words my good friend Andy
shared with me this morning...

"PEACEFUL IS THE ONE WHO'S NOT CONCERNED
WITH HAVING MORE OR LESS...
UNBONDED BY NAME AND FAME,
SHE'S FREE FROM SORROW
FROM THE WORLD
AND FROM HERSELF"
(Rumi)

A Monastic life should lead us to this kind of peaceful life...
A peace that doesn't depend neither on our circumstances, nor the environment or the people surrounding us...
A Peace that comes in our inner self and it's given by God alone...

BE PEACEFUL...