One week waiting in Calais

 That's how NOT good the post service is these days. Francisco posted my passport on Friday the 26th around midday. I found out I could  track it online and I see it only arrived in France on the 2nd of July around 2pm and arrived at the "distribution centre" on Friday around 3pm. 

I'm really hoping it will arrive tomorrow, Tuesday the 7th of July, on the small post office in the village called "Les Attaques", where I initially had rented a caravan in order to have an address. This post office is only open from 9 to 11.45am. This is how slow the main public post service in Europe is working, no wonder people are using private couriers instead. It would have been much faster I guess.

What to do? I wait and embrace what is there on my way. I'm extremely grateful for all the provision considering the situation. I knew it was not by chance that I met the lovely volunteers as I was preparing myself to leave Taizé. There were lots of "coincidences" and common things between us. They were also going to Calais, to volunteer in the house I'm currently staying as a guest, and they also love the Nassar family at the "Tent of Nations" project in Palestine that I mentioned in a previous post, where me and Emma will volunteer in the Autumn.

I'm so glad I got to meet these 2 young people and their other friend who was already in Calais. They have a dream to find a piece of land and live in community too, so we've been having nice chats about it and of course I invited them to come and visit us at the Mount of Oaks in Portugal. It would be really nice if they could come one day soon.

They are doing an  incredible work already. Two of them were here before, one of them several times, so she knew what the work was about and what needs to be done. They arrived the same day as me, by bus, and I went to meet them at the house they would volunteer for the next 2 months. This house is in a transition time as one couple with a child, who have been part of the leadership of this work for 6 years, was about to leave. 

This is a very demanding and exhausting work, as you might imagine, not only the house holding tasks, which are constant with 8 kids and a baby at the moment, but that's really the easier part of the job. The harder part I imagine is all the decision making, the planning, the moderation of all the relationships within the house, between the different women and their kids, between the volunteers and staff and also having to be aware of the hard life stories each one has lived to get here. Sometimes they also need to communicate that they cannot host someone any longer for different reasons, and that must be the hardest thing to do.

Most asylum seekers come here to cross to England in the hope of getting the papers required to become legal, get a job and start a new life. Before that, is the unknown and the waiting for the right opportunity.

My pilgrimage from Portugal to Ireland on a bike, that so many people get impressed with, saying how brave and strong I am, seems nothing compared with the bravery and strength of most of the people who come here, especially the women who come here on their own with their children.

This is something I'm also very grateful for, to get to know some of these amazing women and children. I wish I could speak Arabic to get to know them even better, but some speak a bit of English and it's already ok.

I'm not mentioning any names, both of volunteers or any of the women and children because I don't feel is appropriate and I didn't ask their permission either. I'm not taking any pictures either, I only took this one to show my appreciation to the presentation of this delicious meal that one of the mothers prepared. Kurdish traditional food.

It's not always at this level but it's always delicious and abundant. Another thing about this house is that there is always place for more guests who join for the meals.

Their stories might be one among many, and my intention is to honour a few of these stories and their effort to give their children a better chance in the future, as they see it.

One woman who is here, came all by herself from South Sudan with 5 young children. The eldest must be 12 max., I'm guessing. This is bravery, and it's not just an adventure or a pilgrimage, it's a very specific mission with a very specific goal... I guess it was also not so well prepared or planned, as they had to escape a war. Most people who come to seek asylum had to abandon their lands because they were attacked. invaded or destroyed, others came from cities where they had their jobs, homes and families. Another woman here lost her husband and father of her only child, lost her parents and her body got injured in the war in Syria. Traditionally she had to marry the brother of her dead husband, which she didn't want to, so she ran away and is hoping to go to London and start a new life. She is a secondary school teacher, very kind lady, and excellent cook as you can see from the picture. She was also very proud to say that her father was a cardiologist and her mother an architect back in Syria before they died during the war.

When I entered the yard of the house coming from the train station on Monday, I immediately got involved. The environment was very inviting and welcoming and I could see there was much on everyone's plate, so I instinctively entered a helping mode. The volunteer's backpacks were still laying on the grass at the entry and they were already playing with the kids who love the attention of adults. It was a pleasure to be able to help as I was also being invited to stay for the meals and I was also offered a place to sleep that first night as I only booked the caravan for Tuesday and Wednesday, hoping the passport would arrive in the meantime. I was very hopeful.

As you know, it didn't, and I was very kindly invited to come to the house after Thursday during the day and have the meals with everyone. I was even invited to the morning prayers with the volunteers. They follow the same kind of structure of the Taizé meetings, only shorter, which has been nice too.

I was also offered to sleep in the same house I slept in the first night which is from some staff members who are currently on holidays and need someone to feed the cat and the hamster, which is a pleasure for me too.

So, I can't really complain. I try to help as much as possible in the house as there has been a lot of cleaning and organising to do and it's always a pleasure to be able to participate somehow. It's the least I can do after all that I've been receiving.

Thursday morning, when I had to check out from the caravan I went to the post office and spoke with my broken French to the nice lady there. She also went online to track the pack and it was showing that it only started its "journey" on Monday the 29th. I explained that I'm not living at that address and she kept my number and gave me hers so we can keep in touch about the situation. That was so helpful and meant I didn't have to cycle back and forth to check the post. It is a lovely bike ride. It takes me 30 minutes, as it is only 9km away, pretty much flat all the way, and half of it along a canal with ducks. 

On Friday I was really hoping it would arrive, but the lady text me saying it didn't come. That meant staying for the weekend. 3 more days on my journey, staying in a city, not biking and not moving. 

It was part of my intentions for this trip too, as I did want to know more "first hand" about the so called "migration crisis" in Europe and what does that mean in reality. I think I couldn't have been in a better place than this to find out. It is at the borders that things get more visible. And I set my intentions, so I'm getting my insights.

As I mentioned on my previous post, most migrant people who come to Calais want to cross to the UK because they have been rejected in Europe. Once they are rejected asylum in any country they apply to in Europe, they cannot apply in any other European country, and that's why they want to cross to UK as it is their only hope left. 

This is very interesting, as one of the main reasons why the Government in the UK wanted to leave Europe was to stop migrants from coming in, but it actually increased the number of people coming or trying to get in.

Anyway, this is a complex subject and I know there are many sides and many stories we could be looking at. That's simply what I observe and what I'm learning from others. There will never be easy answers to the many questions concerning migration and each story is a story.

After knowing I would have to stay until the following Monday I decided to leave the house and explore. I did go to the main Calais beach the other day but it was too windy and very touristic for my liking.

This time I just roamed not really knowing where I would end up. I knew I was going towards the sea, even though it was not easy to reach it as I would end up in neighborhoods with no way out and dead end streets... I kept looking around for bits of woods where it would be possible to camp but once I would get closer I couldn't  find any possibility to get in as there were either very high fences or lots or barbed wire making it impossible to cross.

I think it would have been very difficult to try to be "wild" in Calais.

I did end up biking around one of the old camps ( called "jungles" here), and a big one, that was dismantled by the police a good while ago. Often the police takes down tents and discourages any sort of camping as much as possible. Most support given to migrants comes from Non governmental Organisations, churches and other institutions or Associations who care for human rights. 

One thing is to question the reason and the intention why people are coming, and that can be very different from one person to the other. The other thing, which should be more important, is to welcome and treat those who are vulnerable in a dignified way.

Of course there must be some who are taking advantage of these services that are offered, and, most possibly, there are some who are not so nice or grateful for all they are receiving, but still, people should be treated equally, and we should never be  generalist and put all who seek asylum in one single "bag".

Going back to my wander, I did end up at the beach and it was a really nice experience. I ended up meeting quite a few seals who came very close to me as I dipped myself in the ocean, the only "wild" thing I felt I could do here.

I felt I found some wild companions... At least in the sea there are no laws and I'm sure those seals didn't need any papers to cross from one side to the other. 

I wanted to be led, and that's where I ended up. I had to smile. I guess that's where the Spirit has been leading me the last years, and I guess it's part of my vocation to lead others to the wild and to what is natural and nothing to do with human made systems.

As much as I feel compassion towards these people who are seeking asylum, and as much as I admire those who support them, I don't think I could ever do this kind of work. I would not be true to myself if I had to help and encourage someone to go into a system I don't believe in. Not only I don't believe in it as I don't think it's any good to anyone to live in, nevermind raising children in it.

Most people come here the same way millions of Europeans went to the USA, with a promised dream that for some becomes a nightmare. People are still chasing these dreams and illusions that are now in every screen of anyone with a phone and access to internet... The video clips, the songs, the hopes of a life that is not reality. Reality will generally and unfortunately not be nice, even for those who are able to cross and receive asylum, and get the papers and the job and the social housing. 

This system is shit, especially for poor people and even for middle class people, never mind for those who come from different cultures speaking a different language. I'm not even going to speak about racism. It's an illusion that only enslaves people. But how can we say this to someone who came all the way here, even risking their lives, with a hope that life will be bright for them in Europe or the UK? 

I don't want to romanticise asylum seekers either. Non everyone who seeks asylum or even running away from wars are necessary all good people. They are people. And like in every society and culture, there are good ones and not so good ones for whatever reason. Not everyone who goes through traumas, violence or abuse receives what they need to heal and be restored. We all make choices in life, and even when we are hurt, it is our choice to either forgive and restore or fill ourselves with hatred, violence and other not so good human qualities. I'm sure we've all been there sometime in our lives too. I wish everyone would be nice and loving, but that is not always the reality, and among asylum seekers is not any different.

I see a lot of "taking for granted" attitudes, waste of food, clothes, shoes and toys, lack of gratitude and even some demanding tones that can be shocking to witness. I'm back with the question about "what help is really helpful" that I posed myself in Angola some months ago... It's not easy to help in cross cultural contexts to start with. Most help offered here in Calais, to asylum seekers from places like Sudan, Eritrea, Syria, Afghanistan and others, is offered by either Europeans or North Americans, which can be seen or felt as patronising sometimes.

Then we often help with our concept of what is helpful in our point of view and our culture, which is not necessarily the same for everyone. If that concept is formed in a materialistic or capitalist way, we will want to offer stuff and more stuff, and that's what we do. There is an abundance of food, clothes, shoes, toys, hygiene and beauty products, mobile smartphones, and in specific places like here in Calais, there are also things like blankets, waterproof bags, tents, etc... Lots of stuff that asylum seekers get quickly used to receive for free and some, who develop that kind of attitude, even demand it as their right.

I take this house as an example, and this is just a modest and small project among many that exist in Calais. Being a place with children that are truly loved and cared for by the staff and volunteers, there is a lot of joy and fun, but there is also a lot of waste and taken for granted attitudes. A lot of food is wasted and simply thrown down the bin after meals. Less than an hour after the meal, the kids are already coming in and out of the kitchen grabbing things from the fridge and cupboards, sweet things often, as children do. A mess is left behind for someone to clean, so there is not even an appreciation, never mind education, about cleaning after ourselves and take a bit more responsibility for keeping the house clean for everybody. This is not particular to this work, this is common to every community of family setting as most of you know.

I was speaking a bit about all this with one of the volunteers who finds it very hard too, but they are only short term volunteers and they came in when there was already a way established, or not established, from before they arrived. 

I have to say these 3 volunteers did magic in this one week, literally since the minute they stepped in this household. Not only they did a deep clean in every corner of the house, but they also organised the messy storage garage and the daily routines between the mothers and volunteers. On top of it all there is always lots of fun, playing and running around in the yard around the house. There is lots of love and joy but also some difficult conversations or mediation, between the mothers because of the kids for example. I wished all the volunteers we receive would be like this ones. I'm very impressed by their maturity and sense of responsibility.

The question I was raising was not about individuals and not even about individual projects and their different approaches to "helping the vulnerable". I think the big question is about the systems of "helping" that we have been choosing, and how to find a balance between giving what people need in a way that things would not be taken for granted, and maybe a little education about the value of things in terms of resources and even the labour exploitation that is behind each product. That's possibly a bit too much and most people would not give a shit, but then, what are we teaching this future new citizens then?

I can understand some people's arguments against "migrants" and all the help they receive without doing anything, but that argument should be directed to the way the help is given and not to the ones receiving the help.

Let's start with facts : We, as European citizens have way too much stuff in our lives and houses. A lot of stuff that is given is nearly new and it was someone's surplus. There could be a few generous people who would give their best sacrificially, but I can't imagine that being a big percentage. Most people in this side of the world have much more than what we need and this is the model we are presenting to those who want to come here... they dream to have the same abundance of stuff to throw away too.

Another fact is that asylum seekers are not the only financially vulnerable people we could help. There are a lot of European citizens who are homeless in most cities in Europe, and there are a lot of people living on the verge of poverty levels too. Why not helping everyone the same way? Again, let's not point fingers to those who are receiving help, but to the system that chooses to help some and not all who have needs.

For example, we have been sorting shoes and clothes the other day, because there are just too many things already stored. The instructions I was given was that, if there was too many signs of being used, they would go to the bin. Most things that went to the bin were totally good and usable for many years, but not good enough for asylum seekers ( it sounds weird to even say it) and there is obviously no connection between the projects that get rid of these things and projects who work with homeless people for example. They don't even go to containers where they are shipped to Africa and sold in the markets which would give someone a good income and others some nice pair of good shoes or clothes. I would easily keep some of these things if they were my style and if I would not be on a minimal biking journey.

A lot of these shoes and clothes are quite expensive if one would buy them from a shop, so most poorer families who struggle to pay bills and raise kids in cities would also benefit from all of it, but they have no access to it. In some places there are second hand shops, which is already a good step to reuse things that others don't use, but they could even be given for free as far as I'm concerned.

A mother with 2 kids are leaving tomorrow and they were clearing their room and their stuff. The kids were coming with a lot of toys to be thrown in the trash and saying they were broken. When I went to have a look they were totally fine. Some wear and tear, but still good to play. It was really hard, and I can see it's hard for these volunteers too.

If this is the first introduction and education about European lifestyle that these families are receiving what kind of people will they become? 

This is not helping the future generations at all, in my opinion... We need to stop or reduce consumption, not increasing. The problem for the planet are not the number of humans living in it, but the lifestyle of extreme consumerism and waste that we keep promoting.

That is one of the reasons I live the way I live, with as little consumption as possible, as I want to participate as little as I can in this exploitative system that creates more and more "devouring monsters" who will never be satisfied. There is no material thing that can ever satisfy the emptiness of human souls. Only Love. Could we focus more on love and less on stuff? Or is this too much of a hippie speech? Even "hippies" these days are filled with stuff...

At the end of the day, these kids don't really care for the toys...if they had less, they would find ways to play with less... But they long for the time of the day when the volunteers are available to play with them, to give them love and attention, to run around like big chickens, to throw them in the air and make them laugh...they queue for their turn, and it's the best part of the day when shouts of joy and laughter can be heard in every corner making everyone smile. Ok, sometimes there are little fights between them, but hey, it's a family with lots of kids and different ages. That too is quickly solved.

I might be naive, but I really hope that somehow the ones who come to Europe seeking the capitalist dream, realise the illusion they can get trapped in before it's too late... I hope they can find places they can call home and feel at home, in healthy and inclusive communities that are more rural and close to land and nature. That for me is the wealth everyone should be looking for.

Ok, this is getting too long again, but that's what happens when I have time to be still and think about all these things.

insha'Allah I'll be soon with my passport and just have to go to the ferry, pay my fee and cross. It will take half an hour and I'll be in England pedaling. It sounds so easy, and one week waiting sounds like nothing compared to those who are here months, sometimes years, without any assurance they might even be able to cross. 

This waiting position is not so comfortable I tell you, as you feel you need to be ready to move at any moment, and in the meantime you don't really feel like taking much initiative to do anything else rather than finding things to do to pass the time and wait.

I am fully aware of all my many privileges and the injustice of it all. These women would do anything to have the same privilege as I do. I don't even want to live in England, especially London, it would have been a nightmare for me just to think about it. I just want to cross the Island, go to the other smaller one to visit my wife's family and friends I haven't seen for 15 years, since we got married, and return home, to live of the land that gives me everything.

I end with a part of a song we sing in our circle. Originally from a community who lives in the Amazon forest...I can translate...

" Da floresta eu recebo forças para caminhar,

Da floresta eu tenho tudo, tudo tudo, Deus me dá..."

( From the forest I receive strength to keep on walking ..from the forest I have everything, everything is given to me by God)

May more and more people realise this simple truth. When we live with the land, in community, as part of our God created Nature, we have everything we need : food, shelter, medicine, health, joy and wealth. The abundant life we were all created to live in.