hApPy hApPy dAy !!!!

Just a couple of days after finishing our strawbale building workshop we had lots of friends and family for a "baby party"... (go to MoO blog to see how the course went... it was great!!!)

This was definitely a happy day… a celebration day for many reasons…
My twin nephews, Nelson and Joshua, turned 3, and we also celebrated Nolan’s 2nd birthday that would be later this month…

We also had baby Diogo with us, only a few months old, son of Pedro and Lisanne, my sister’s best friend…
And Kiara, Lua’s daughter was also with us…

A party with and for children… I think we all became a bit like children, except for the alcohol consumption, but hey, it was a party !!!
Another big reason for celebrating was that my mum came from Angola…



Nelson, Edna, Nolan and Lyna, ready to blow out the candles...

Edna and Lisanne

baby Diogo, Lisanne and Pedro's son

Kiara...Lua's daughter...

my mum was in great form, as she often is… laughing, dancing and being surrounded by family… my cousin Paulinho (below, behind my mom and Pedro who opened the “dance floor” with Angolan music), Ricardo, his wife Nelia , (no pictures of them,what a shame, it was so nice to be with them)

and Pedro who is like my little brother...they all came to join us…

Orfeu and Diana (hard to see in the far back), friends of Paulo and Edna… Here at the table were Peter and Chrissy who was still here after the workshop…

Our other little brother Nico also joined us  

and Miri (from Goerlitz), visiting from Germany...

Peter who came to the land with the first crew at the Mount of Oaks in 2006... we were all trying to eat gelatin with our hands and it was not easy...

Miri and Peter were in Porto visiting Juran and Ulli... their little daughter Fiona was born just a few weeks ago, so they couldn’t come this time...

Nuno, our friend who lives nearby also showed up… below, on the left, near Nolan...he has been busy with his amazing stone work, check it out here … he's a good local friend who comes regularly to visit...

… we can see better Orfeu now, with the tattoos, speaking with Pedro, Lisanne’s husband...

Whitney Hurst, laughing at Emma who was  trying to eat the gelatin…Whitney got a lift with Ricardo and Nelia from Lisbon…the rest of the family couldn't come because they are busy moving to the Algarve...Isaac really wanted to come, but for some last minute reason he couldn't... he would love it !!!

Emma also came from Ireland especially for the party and also to meet my mum…
Wow, what a nice family gathering !!! It’s been a looooong time… It was a pity my dad couldn’t come this time…but I’m sure soon he will…

Nelson and Joshua enjoying the gelatin my mum made especially at their request...

Nico and my mum showed us how to dance Angolan music... 


This was a really special day for me for many reasons as you can see… and I thought this could be a good opportunity to share something that is also very special to me…

It´s been a while since I’ve been wanting to write a post about it… I wanted it to be special, and I wanted to write when I had a relaxed time to sit and write...

Some of you already know, most of those who were at this party knew… those who didn’t , it was either obvious or they got to know it after Pedro made a sort of “announcement” for everyone to hear…

It was lovely actually, but a bit embarrassing I have to say… especially for Emma, who couldn’t help but blush on the other side of the table…
but that’s Pedro !!! he’s always been like that since we were kids…
it was very sweet at the same time… I don´t remember all that he was saying but then he turned to Emma on the other side of the table and said something like “ yes, because you are not only getting engaged with Barbara but you’re getting engaged into a biiiiiiig family …”

So yes, Emma is not only getting engaged with me, but with these beautiful people, family and close friends, who know me, and are happy with our commitment…

Edna has been the first and the most supportive of our relationship… my parents received the news filled with joy through a letter I sent to Angola… My mum was looking forward to meeting Emma here and Emma was excited to meet my mum… unfortunately my dad couldn't come this time but he has given us his blessing already...

This was another big thing that made this day special and worthy of celebration… you cannot imagine my joy…
Especially because our relationship has not been celebrated by all of my friends…
This was probably one of the reasons why it made me cautious to share it publicly , or to share with others… it is hard when someone doesn’t rejoice with something that is so precious to me…unfortunately for some people it even felt like someone died or something.

I intentionally shared about my relationship with Emma with some christian friends (close and not so close ones) as a way to start a dialogue as, unfortunately, same sex relationships are still a taboo and still condemned in many spiritual circles, at least christian ones... It´s always the question if it’s "right or wrong" , if it’s "God’s will" or not… some don’t even use the “if”, but clearly say that “it is wrong”, leaving no room for any dialogue or discussion… it´s so sad to realise there is no interest to hear about our journey, not only together, but with God too… “the Bible is clear” , they say… but when I ask for more depth, I get no replies, or else, I get “teachings” and web sites of “ex-gay ministries” for me to research for myself…

It´s so odd...

I have been searching and researching from the beginning… It was not something I took lightly and easily, especially being part of who I am since I know myself...  

It was a struggle in my teenage years when I realised I was gay,and that was even before I had any spiritual practice... Then when I started my discipleship with Jesus I was taught it was wrong, but I didn't give much thought or went deeper into study as I was not really interested in relationships... I didn't vow to be celibate but I would live as if I did... 

As soon as I open my heart to have a relationship, some years ago, I felt attracted to women... obviously (now I can say that, but not then)... 

It was a huge struggle between my mind, my spirit and my feelings…

From the early start, when I found out my feelings for Emma were more than a friendship (one and a half year ago), I shared with my closest friends and some of them were rejoicing, yet, others were saying “it is wrong…the Bible says so”… so I kept praying and went to the Bible… all the verses I was tired of knowing…

I could actually show that all the passages and arguments used by many christians are not that clear, but I´m not going to go into Bible discussions here because I don't believe that is what the Bible is for... The Bible is not to show us what is "right and wrong", "good or bad", but it does show me that God loves me no matter what, as God loves everyone as they are... Jesus removed all guilt and condemnation of any shape or form.

The Bible is definitely not to be used to accuse anyone of anything, especially those who are already rejected by society as homosexual people are. 

And if you want to know my opinion, there are many other things God is concerned about more than our sexual preferences...

We are very blessed to have our families and most of our friends supporting us, but this is not the case for many people in the world today, and "christianity" has a big part to play in all this prejudice and injustice that has been destroying people and families all over the world... in some countries today it´s a crime punished with death penalty or jail, also because of the influence of some kind of christian teaching (very damaging in my opinion) 

Emma is my best friend since 2005, she came to the land for a month after finishing her master’s dissertation on Peace and Reconciliation studies in the end of 2008 and a long journey was about to begin for us both…

I don’t want to get so detailed here… but all this journey led me to seek God as never before and above all , to realise God’s amazing love and grace, as never before… understanding the meaning of the cross as never before…
Accepting the biggest challenge of my life… to be truly me… a broken vessel filled with God’s love …

“embrace your feelings” was all I could hear from God in the midst of the storm of all my thoughts… of course I resisted it time after time, because I still had all those accusing voices inside my mind saying “that couldn’t be from God”… “feelings are deceitful”,  "how could God ask me such a thing?"

The honest truth is that , when I surrendered to that invitation, I felt God’s love as never before… I felt God’s acceptance as never before…
I was aware then, and at the same time, Emma was also aware, that this journey would be a long one… and a hard one …
Emma also got a picture where God offered her a cup, and asked her “would my love and Barbara’s love be enough for you?”… she knew the cup was filled with joy, but also pain… (thankfully) she said yes to God…
And we said yes to one another…

We got engaged last year, and we will celebrate our union and commitment with our friends and family (if all goes well) next Autumn !!!
After our wedding in Ireland Emma will finally move to the land… it has not been easy to be distant, and all those who experience that will know what it costs… but our love grows stronger and deeper, and we are looking forward to the steps ahead…

I want to thank all of our friends who have been faithfully supporting us… our families and their love and acceptance… we’re also thankful for those who don’t really know what to say or how to respond… we're thankful for all those who have been challenging us by sharing a different opinion, who have actually strengthened our conviction and our commitment to share a different point of view as children of God...

Above all, we're thankful for God in our midst... another clear picture we have from the beginning... walking together, hand in hand with Jesus with us and alongside us...