wHo'S mY fAmiLy...?!!!

"Who is my family?"

This came to my mind during the rainbow gathering in north Spain... I went with Ton...we arrived when there were about 200 people there, and left after the full moon when approximately 500 people showed up...
"we are circling , circling together,
we are living , living our heart song,
this is FAMILY,
this is unity,
this is celebration,
this is sacred..."

It´s the usual song we sing when we gather for the "food circle" twice a day...
was this family to me?
Was this real unity?

I had many weird moments this time at the rainbow gathering... and I realised once again I'm not so good in big crowds... it's too overwhelming for me...
I went mainly to be with those I met before and reconnect...
to be with those I felt like family, those I was missing and longing to be with... but I felt alone in the midst of this crowd... this is not unfamiliar to me either... 

This feeling has nothing to do with the amount of people I'm surrounded with...

Big rainbow gatherings are in itself different from small ones... it's more like a meeting of different families who come together...and it was so different in Germany  because even if it was much bigger (more than 3000 people), I was with my spiritual family as well, and we were there to serve...  I didn't feel lost or alone there...

This time I guess I lacked my family in the big Family...
I started to ponder why I was I having these feelings...
I missed the ones at the Mount of Oaks...I missed the Borden's who moved back to Africa almost 2 years ago, after I lived with them in Lisbon...  I missed Emma, my prayer companion... Juran, Mathias, Anne, Jonathan, Judith, Hajo and others who were at the gathering in Germany... I missed many of those who were part of my community in Lisbon... and others with whom I've been journeying throughout my life...

I realised I was missing those who really know me... those I can be in silence with and feel we are sharing something together...
I don't want to say I didn't meet many beautiful and lovely people at this gathering, but maybe I was expecting something else... more intimacy maybe, more depth in conversations and relationships...

In big gatherings of people I feel I never have real quality time with anyone and I don't really know where or to whom to turn to...
After sharing all these feelings with God I felt at peace... loneliness was something we were already chatting about, and it was a confirmation for me that nothing in this world or in this life will fill this gap... 

My feelings and thoughts were overwhelming me and I needed to go somewhere alone... it's interesting how I long for solitude when I feel alone...Hmmm... maybe because I know only God and Nature can fill the gap ...

I went up to one of the amazing mountains surrounding us... I got to the top and had an amazing wider view of the rainbow camp... I knelt down and simply asked God " what am I doing here anyway? I don't really feel to be with those I wanted and I don't seem to have anything to give to them..."

I simply burst into tears... my heart was filled with pain...hurt...rejection feelings... different faces were coming to my mind, and my prayers were made into tears...no need for words... I also find no words to explain it better...
in the end, Peace came... I understood I went there for that... to cry and pray... I knew those tears were not mine as well (it's not the first time this happened to me at a rainbow gathering)... I felt the feelings of being lost , of loneliness and rejection were not only mine either... somehow I felt many people there were feeling the same but not really expressing it... I could do nothing else but pray... It was interesting to observe...

These were just my impressions and my experience...

I feel like a family where there is space to express my feelings, whether they are good or not... people with whom I can be in silence with if that is what I need...with whom I can speak and listen both superficial and deep things...with whom I can cry or laugh, being honest with my own condition of the moment...people with whom I feel one with, in the soul and in the spirit...

It was probably the main thing I was missing... a spiritual connection... I had a few strong soul connections, especially with those who came to the land some weeks before, but besides Ton I didn't feel any other spiritual connection with anyone else... 

In the rainbow family everyone has their own spiritual journey, their own perception about God or whatever name they give to Him/Her/It... I totally respect that, and many are very honest in the way they seek God, but when we don´t share the same language, or cosmology, it´s hard to speak about it...

My relationship with God is personal... I speak with God and I try to discern what I listen and follow... I miss others who have the same kind of connection... It's interesting too how in Germany I was with people I just met, but because we had the same language to speak to God and about God, it was like we knew each other for a long time... sometimes this happens in the soul level too, but when it's in the spirit, there's something even stronger...
I was missing someone to pray together with ...

I went a few times to the Shambala tent, which was a common space to worship or sing spiritual songs, but even there I didn't feel connected... for me it was mainly singing random songs, usually in a strange language I couldn't connect with, and to gods I had no idea who they were...I know a bit about Shiva, Krishna and Kali, from the time I was in India, and I like some of the mantras, but I never developed a deeper connection with them... well, they never called me to follow them... 

I don't feel them in me either, the way I feel the Spirit of Jesus... I believe in universalism,  that there are many ways to relate to God, possibly as many as all the languages there are in the world... I truly believe many people connect with God and Spirit through many deities, and even without deities, but there is something about particularity, when we share the same connection and the same language, even if we disagree in some things, but at least we can speak about it.

All these thoughts made it hard for me to feel connected on a spiritual level, and that is a shame because I never felt that before in a rainbow gathering... Maybe God wants to say something about it... not about the rainbow people, but about myself...

It was nice to hear people singing, but not much more apart from that... 

I didn't feel free to express my devotion to Jesus either... I usually feel that all other Gods are cool and interesting , but when it comes to Jesus there is a certain apprehension and resistance... 

I understand that too, as I myself was very resistant, and I didn´t even grew up in a super religious family as most europeans my age did....Europe still has a lot to heal and ask forgiveness for all the atrocities made in the name of the God of Abraham and Jesus.

 

I get it when people seek in other cultures and other Gods for other ways to relate with The Divine, but I would also like the message of Jesus, not the church, to be restored and revived...

What most people know about christianity is often the bad theology that we´ve been taught for many years, and even today... 

That makes me sad as well, because Jesus´ teachings are so distant from what "christianity" teaches.

Going back to the family question... my main struggle is that I do identify with the rainbow lifestyle. I often say it´s my tribe, if I have any on earth... but I also belong to another family, the ones who are called by Jesus...

And maybe it is not unlike these big gatherings, where we are all God´s family and children of the Earth, our Pacha Mama, and within this big family there are particular families, and mine is the family of Jesus...

I just wonder if this family is welcomed among the Rainbows... We were in Germany...

One time Jesus was with His disciples and someone said  his mother, Mary, and his siblings were calling outside for him ...to which he replied " who is my mother, and brother, and sister? Those who do my Father's will are my mother and brother and sister"...

I don't think he meant to be rude to his blood family, but he wanted to point out his spiritual family on earth... We will be together one day...in spirit and truth..."from all nations, tribes and languages" as John saw in a vision... then no more veils, no more cultural differences, religions, or languages will ever separate us... we will see each other as we really are...who we really are! We will be ONE... and this is also the vision of the Rainbow family...

I finish with a prayer I sing:

YOU ARE FATHER OF ALL
YOU ARE THE MOTHER WHO HOLDS
YOU ARE THE SPIRIT INSIDE ME
JESUS, CARRY ME HOME...
CARRY ME HOME...
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HOLDS MY HAND
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WALKS BESIDE ME
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WIPES MY TEARS
JESUS, CARRY ME HOME...
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO BRINGS ME PEACE
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SINGS TO ME
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GIVES ME JOY
JESUS, DANCE WITH ME...
DANCE WITH ME

bAbY AbOuT 2 b bOrN...

I'm at the hospital now, waiting for the news about Lyna and the baby who is about to be born... she started having contractions yesterday morning while the Mid-wife was still at the land...Marie and her husband went just to check the baby and know where the community was but ended up having to stay because Lyna was about to be in labor...well, that's what we were expecting...

Lyna kept having contractions all night, but it was not the time yet... next morning she kept the same and Marie kept on checking up the baby position... it needed to be more down, so we were waiting patiently... at 1pm Marie had to force the waters to break, but still the baby needed to come more down and the contractions were taking too long from one to the other...
we were at peace though and Marie was doing a great job...
after 2 hours we couldn't wait any longer... Marie suggested we go to the hospital...

and here we are waiting...

all the prayers would be appreciated...
I'm at peace ...
Thanks

(pictures by Emmanuel Ingelsten)

WAIT WAIT...
THE BABY IS BORN... IT'S A BOY !!!!

YOU CAN REJOICE AND CELEBRATE WITH US !!!!

PRAISE GOD FOR A NEW LIFE!!!!

hApPinEsS...

I came to Porto for my nephew's 1 year birthday and had to wait a few more days to repair my car...so, I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow I'll be heading with Ton to the rainbow gathering in Spain... most probably I'll only be in touch at the end of the month...

Anyway, here goes my thoughts on HAPPINESS

Am I happy?
Would I be arrogant if I said yes?!
Would I be lying?
I feel happy,
Even though I don’t think happiness is a feeling…
I can feel miserable at times
Or dissatisfied,
But I can still say “I’m happy”.
It’s about who I am
Not about how I am…
“Happy are the poor…”
“Happy are those who mourn…”
“Happy are the broken…”
“Happy are those who are persecuted…”
“For they will be called children of God.” 

Happiness doesn’t depend on circumstances
or the states of our spirit…
Happiness is found
In who we are.
My happiness relies in a simple truth:
I am a child of God
And I am loved.
This will never change
And this can never be shaken,
Because God is the very foundation of it all…
Happiness is.

I’m happy because God tells me so.
If my happiness would rely on things or people
Than I could become unhappy,
Because things are now
But in a moment they are no more…

As we are now
And in a moment we are no more…
Just like a breath…

when we lose the simplicity
And innocence of being a child
we start feeling unhappy…
Because we start thinking and rationalizing
That our happiness depends
On the things we see around us
Or experience in our lives…

Thoughts like “I’m not happy”
Only come to our minds
When we stop being like children…
We start looking for happiness
In all sorts of things
To try to fill that gap in our souls…
We try many things,
We study,
We search for relationships,
We seek a career,
We try many religions or spiritualities,
We accumulate money and possessions,
We try to empty ourselves and meditate,
We try to “do good deeds” to clear our karma,
But nothing makes us truly happy...

Until the moment
We realise
We need to die and be born again
And become like a child again…
Remaining in this state
Is what makes us happy…

“when I was just a little child,
happiness was there a while,
then from me it slipped one day,
Happiness, come back, I say…
cuz if you don’t come I got to go looking
for happiness…” (Bob Marley)

we are to be like a child again,
That’s where happiness is found.

LoNg siLeNcE...mAnY nEwS...

I've been really rubbish lately checking e.mails and posting the news on the blog... the main reason is that we had many people coming over, especially rainbow people who dropped by after the "walking Zion" weekend... it was so cool to see that most of the ones we met at the rainbow in the south were there too... 

they were looking for a place to wait and rest for a while before they would head north to another gathering nearby and also to prepare for the European gathering in north Spain... so we ended up inviting them to come to the land and most of them came... it was a fun and very good time...

they all loved the land which offered the peace and rest they needed...some were really pleased to sleep on a bed (something many didn't do for a long time) ... but some also preferred to sleep under the stars and among the beautiful yellow flowers which  cover the whole land at the moment... the warm bath was very appreciated as well... we were all blessed by each other... 

I love these people... I have no words to describe it though...
Miri's mom, Sieglinde (I hope I spelled it right), was here as well for a few more weeks...it was nice to have her here again and all the rainbow people loved her as well... they were already calling her "mama Sieglinde"... she often cooked very nice food for all ...

Among many joys, I also had some sad days, when Pula died and I realised Sambo must have died as well... I still don't know what caused it... I really miss them a lot...it's like they left an empty space in our lives here...

Now we have a new little cute dog, Bela, from Josh and Rosie... I already mentioned in the last post about them and their van... 

I'm really happy that they are here, and it's amazing the things I've learned already about Permaculture in just a few days...these guys know a lot really... Now we are already 4 people committed to serving this piece of land for a long term...me, Ton, Josh and Rosie... I'm really glad about that as well...

We have some other visitors who came from Germany... our dear Anne, another Anne who came together from Leipzig, and Uli from Gorlitz whom I already knew before too...

It's quite amazing the traffic in this land,considering it is all shared by word of mouth...  each one that comes, brings something special to add to the beauty of this place...

wAnNa bUy a niCe vAn?

Josh, Rosie and Bella (their sweet little dog) are on the move to the land... I met them at the rainbow gathering in the south (the couple I mentioned who shared the permaculture workshop), and they came by a few days ago to check the land... they loved it, and wanted to come and stay...

 we love them too, they are wonderful people, good hearts, servants and lots of knowledge to put into practice... I have been longing for people like them since I came here...

they want to settle and develop permaculture and self sustainable farming here, they thought they wouldn't need a van anymore...

so here goes the details:

Ldv High Top, year 2000, UK registration, Camper, 1 year cook burner, double bed, lots of storage, roof bars, good working order...

just need some spraying in a few dots, but besides that it's totally fine.

They are asking 3000 Euros, but willing to negotiate.

If you are interested, put a comment on the blog and I let them know.

Thanks

pULa iS nO lOngEr wiTh uS...

I have a lot of news to share, but I just want to dedicate this post to my dear cat Pula...he died today , a few hours ago... I don't know exactly the reason, but his time had come... he would have been 10 months tomorrow ...

he was strange last week, after Sambo disappeared again (she might be dead as well, I would like to find her)...

I thought he was just sad because he loved Sambo so much...
it was a strange experience to see the breath of Life depart from him as I was holding him in my hands at the vet in Castelo Branco...
I got to the vet on time for him to give Pula some shots, but it was helpless...I bowed down there, I simply prayed and asked God to do what was best for him...the doctor said to leave him there and he would tell me the news...I was not comfortable with that...as I stood up, still with my both hands on Pula's body, he stretched and gave his last breath...he went home...his spirit is free...
"Humans and animals come to the same end—humans die, animals die. We all have the same breath of Life... We all end up in the same place—we all came from dust, we all end up as dust. Nobody knows for sure that the human spirit rises to heaven or that the animal spirit sinks into the earth"
(Ecclesiastes 3:18-22)

I believe I'll see Pula again one day...where no death exists anymore...
death is weird for us...as Marcia said, it is something we were not meant to experience...
I thank God for the gift and hope of eternal life...no death will exist anymore.. everything will be as God meant it to be... I can´t even grasp that...
We are all very grateful to have met Pula...what a character... he made us all laugh a lot of times...

I felt Jesus´ comfort as I came to the land and went to take Pula to the prayer tent... he loved that place... he would always join us every morning... we used to laugh saying that he thought he was the one we were worshipping as he was always looking for attention for himself ... I laid him at the door and worshipped God... the Spirit came with comfort and a new song filled my heart :

You are the Father of all...You are the mother who loves...You are the Spirit who comforts...You are the one who holds my hand...You are the One who wipes my tears...You are the One carrying me home...Jesus...Jesus"

I buried him there ...
Good-bye Pula...we all loved you very much...thanks for what you gave to us all...

wAlKiNg ZiOn...

I´m just about to go to another rainbow party, "walking Zion" in Serra da Estrela, just 37Km from us...

it's 1000m high, in "Chão das Almas" (land of the souls),  next to the highest peak in Portugal, which is 2000m. 

we're all going, except for Miri's mom who is visiting for few weeks and said it might be a bit too cold for her... we're supposed to take all sorts of percussion instruments and flowers and join the celebration ... I'll share more after we come back...

oN tHe wAy...2 tHe rAiNbOw gAtHeRiNg...

we travelled on monday and arrived on thursday... only now I'm having the time to sit and try to write about it...me, Marcia, Lyna and Juran went on a short trip to a rainbow gathering down south in the Algarve...I feel I lost the momentum to write about it, but lets see what comes up in this post as it flows...

when I arrived I was filled with lots of feelings and emotions, heart connections, lots of stories in my heart, lots of beautiful pictures in my mind... I have to say that I didn't take many pictures there because I don't feel comfortable as I know many people don't like cameras... Most of the things we saw and experienced cannot be captured in a picture anyway...

we had a nice trip, around 5 hours long...we stopped once in Portalegre to have a coffee and to admire an ancient tree, a massive 160 year old "Plátano"/Plane tree... Simply Beautiful !



We arrived after lunch and set up our "tent" on the hill...

beautiful view as well...

Look at the beautiful flower I've found just next to our camp? I have never seen anything like it... it was as if it was made out of wax or something... amazing!
over the rainbow camp and the beautiful valley of green, yellow, purple and white... a strong fast river run through the valley and along its bank the rainbow camp was set...tents were all over in different places, the main kitchen, 2 tipis and the "coffee shop" from where we could hear shouting "coooooooffee" all day long ...

in about one hour we were ready to join the others...
I feel at home in the rainbows...if you're not familiar with these gatherings you can find out more here in a previous post I wrote...
people received us with a warm hug and the usual "welcome home" saying... some were already preparing dinner in the kitchen, a couple of children were playing in the water naked, some others were arriving too.. .we went to the main circle where the fireplace is always burning and we joined the musicians... the guy with the guitar started to sing a nice song...I don't remember now exactly but it was something like "Jah is with us , we don't have to fear" , I followed with my drum and it went on and on until dinner was ready ..." Foooooooood circle" ... time to gather all around the fire and join hands...we forgot plates...silly us !!! but Provision never failed ... we cut a bottle in the middle and there was a plastic plate and even a normal one for us to use... the food was always good as well !

I met old friends I haven't seen for years, I met new ones...there were around 60-80 people... all beautiful , each with their own characteristics, each one special...
nights were filled with fun, music and dance...

some nights more than others...one time people were getting wild making animal's sounds...it was so fun!!! so freeing !!! so releasing !!! hard to describe with words...

many people asked us about our community and we left directions on the "information tree"... we are hoping to have some of them over as there's another gathering happening soon near us in Serra da Estrela... We also heard about a "natural trance party" called "walking to Zion" near Covilha, where people are invited to join with all sorts of instruments ... I would love to go to that one, but I don't think I'll go to the other rainbow gathering...there is too much work in the garden on these hot sunny days ...

I really wish some of those people we met will come here... That's what this land is for too, to welcome the pilgrims, the nomads, the travellers who need a bit of peace and rest on their journey... of course it is also nice, and necessary, that everyone contributes with work and money for food, but so far we have been really blessed with those we´ve been hosting. 

As a nomad myself, I know what it's like when you just need a "home" to come back to... I miss travelling actually, and being on The Way...but I know I'm on the right place at the right season... I love hosting as well... it´s a privilege...

we also met a nice English couple who shared about permaculture and they will come as well... we could learn a few new things to put in practice here at the land, and I felt challenged to attend a 72hours course on Permaculture Design which will give me lots of new insight and ideas to use in the land... I'll pray and research about it...

Thursday morning we woke up early to start our trip back to the land...we wanted to be with Emmanuel who arrived just the day before we left for the rainbow... it was a pity we didn't get much time to hang out, but I'm sure he'll be back...next time for a longer period...

we left our "roof" to a girl who had no rain proof shelter... another beautiful person we met... we went to the kitchen and coffee shop for good-byes and we were ready to get our feet on the road... I mean in the car...

There is one more nice story to share...
we wanted to have a coffee and some food before our 5 hours drive, so we stopped at the first cafe on the way... there were people on both tables outside so we asked a man if we could join him... "of course", he said... we went in to order our things and only when we came out we noticed he was a traveller too... an older man, in his fifties, and not portuguese... we asked him where he was going... "I'm a pilgrim"... we laughed  and said "so are we!" ... " I can tell", he said ...I wondered why? ...

He was going to "Santiago de Compostela"... it's his second time...the first time was 15 years ago and he said he discovered himself... now he came to discover Portugal... he's from The Hague-Holland, divorced 20 years ago, a retired policeman (he worked in the human department services he said), lives alone and he was surprised to hear we were living in a community... he never heard such a thing and that surprised us as well... he was challenged by the idea I guess... 

we all felt we were before an amazing person with lots in his heart to share... he was also a musician, he had 2 instruments, one for the inside, the violin, and the other for the outside, the harmonica... his words carried wisdom and he would not speak only superficial things...
when I asked him where he was on his journey with God, he pondered a lot and started to share... he said he went through some shadow places in his life, but he learned a few things... in his first pilgrimage he said he lost his arrogance... he thought he didn't need others, that he could be happy alone... that was his arrogance...but he learned he is a social person and he needs humans for him to realise he is human... It reminded me of a movie I saw recently, "Into the Wild",  which I recommend everyone to see...

when he finished I went to the car to pick up my Bible and read to him a Psalm that came to my mind as he was speaking... Psalm 23..."The Lord is my shepherd"...he was grateful ... Juran also played for him his "Mbira", a kind of hand piano from Africa, with which the man was amazed...his name was Anner by the way, even though I'm sure it's not well spelled...

the presence of God was clear in our midst and we could all fill it...
he liked my hat... he didn't have one, and he didn't have much hair to protect him as well, so I gave it to him... you should have seen his joy...

Lyna said he looked like Heidi's grandfather...we all laughed ...he didn't want to accept it in the beginning, but I was sure it was not my hat anymore... I was happy too... Juran also gave him a necklace he carried with a nice green stone... Anner didn't know what to say nor what was going on...

Neither do we... we just knew it felt right... we went on our way, leaving him on his journey and followed ours...
we couldn't say much to each other, we all felt we just had a sacred encounter... set up by God for sure...

we went in silence and in awe for a while and I stopped to put on Shimshai's music..."I sense Your presence..."
it was so strong... so real... so beautiful... tears almost fell down my face, my heart was full...

we were also looking forward to being back home... to be with the others...to see the garden and the trees...and to have a nice "sweat lodge" before a good night of sleep...

rAiNbOwS iN tHe sKy...

The rain hasn't stopped yet... so we're really getting smarter these days... Maren left with Taini back to Germany... she probably will come back after doing what she needs to do there..Marie Ivone (Mami, for all), Lyna's grandmother who has been with us for several weeks, is also leaving tomorrow, back to France in her little "twingo" car...it has been a pleasure to have a grandma around...she's really funny... especially in the nights when her English fades away and she insists in speaking French to all of us as we would perfectly understand her...

Juran and Emmanuel are coming tonight as well...
Emmanuel managed to have a break from his busy life in Sweden and he's back with us for a few days to have a rest... Juran is coming from Porto again to join me and Marcia on a road trip to a small Iberian Rainbow gathering down south, between here and Algarve... I'm hoping to meet and reconnect with some friends and also to get to know new people who live in communities, both in Portugal and Spain... it's going to be a good time I'm sure...
Judith from Jesus Freaks Cologne is also here to visit us for a few days...

I just want to share a few pictures of amazing Rainbows we´ve been having the privilege to see...

Colours in the sky... and it's good to remember God's promise:
(Genesis 9:12-16)
God continued, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. I'm putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth."

aNoThEr tHoUgHt...fRuiTs oUt oF sEaSoN...

I like to eat fruits in its season... it it the best!
Do you know what I'm talking about by the way?
I'm simply asking because I have many people coming over who hardly know what I mean...
(most people we host come from what we call western "developed countries")

I have difficulties with these terms and I don't want to discuss this common terminology now, so I'll just use brackets... 

In the "western civilization" today we can eat all sorts of fruits any time of the year...some of these fruits I wouldn't even be able to spell correctly because they are so foreign... Most people get all excited about it, but aren't we losing something with this, I wonder?

I was just offered a piece of melon which I refused, simply because it's the only fruit I don't really like ( I tried often to see if my taste buds had changed, but it still doesn't convince me)
I always admire the pleasure of those who take a bite on a nice piece of melon in a hot summer day, but it really doesn't appeal to me...

Now, wait a minute! it's not summer yet! we're still in the beginning of spring here...Hmmm...
That's when I started to think we are missing something here...
I believe most of us are losing the gift and pleasure of appreciating the right things at the right time...
We're raised with a mentality that when we want something now, we have to have it NOW...
we no longer want to deal with things like "waiting", "expecting", "looking forward" ( I will not even mention "faith" or "trust" here)...
And we are losing something good with that mentality...
we are losing the excitement of when the expected things arrive... or the surprise... or the acknowledgement of a miracle taking place...

We are losing the joy and fulfillment when something that we are so longing for finally arrives...
I used to do something to allow myself this kind of feeling... I walk bare-foot, I always loved it since I was a child...the cool thing about it is that we are able to feel all sorts of different grounds, and each of them give us a different feeling...
Some are rocky and thorny, not so pleasant I would say, and usually I tend to walk more carefully and slower... but some are soft and grassy, or muddy and mushy, and it feels good for my feet (specially after walking in thorny grounds)...

You might wonder what I´m trying to say here... What fruit in season has anything to do with walking barefoot?
what I get from these bare-footed experiences is that I can only appreciate the pleasure of walking in soft grassy ground after I've experienced walking in a rocky or thorny ground...
Does it make sense now?
Going back to the fruits before I get lost (or probably you are already lost here, sorry)...

Wouldn't it be much more pleasurable to enjoy each fruit in its season, freshly picked up from the tree (with no chemicals of course), instead of eating any fruit whenever we wanted it?
For instance, Mango trees (which is one of my favourite fruits) only bear fruit in Angola between December and January (if you're lucky you can still get some in February still)...and what a treat it is to eat them there at this time... they are absolutely delicious...
I refuse to eat Mango in Portugal because we don't have them growing here, so I'm sure they're all imported (I'm not even going into the carbon print or fair trade issue here, don't worry)... even if they are well frozen and transported, I know it would not be the same taste, because they will have to be picked when they are not fully ripe...
I also don't think it would be practical to travel around the world to different places just to eat the things we wanted (not so good for the ozone layer, and only accessible for rich people)... again we 'd be feeding the same mentality "we want, we get"...

I don't have many chances to go to Angola because it's too expensive for me, and last time I went to visit my parents who live there, 3 years ago, I didn't get any Mango because it was the end of February... I should have planned it better...
But when I go there in season I have a blast of feelings in my mouth with my first bite on my mango... And there are loads of different varieties too...

There are regional and seasonal fruits for a reason :
for regional and seasonal needs...
we have plenty of citrus throughout the winter because our bodies need a lot of vitamin C to resist the seasonal cold and flu...
isn't that perfect?
we have nice melons in the hot summer, because we need extra liquids to keep hydrated and I guess because it also feels nice and refreshing...
Isn't that perfect?

Are you following me still? Sorry for the ramble... I guess I´m just longing to appreciate every little thing in its right moment, in its right season...

God speaks in the Bible about a tree planted by the river which "bears fruits in its season" (Psalm 1), and we can also read about "the fruits of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22,23)...
We're not always loving,
but when we need Love (to give or receive) God will always give to us...
we're not always joyful,
but real joy can often come in the most miserable times,
we're not always peaceful,
but how good does it feel when that peace
that surpasses all human understanding comes...
We're not always patient,
we want everything NOW,
and we think it´s the best for us...
but how much do we learn and grow
in times when we have to wait and be patient?
we're not always kind, or good to others all the time,
but what a pleasure and fulfilment it gives us
when we exercise that gift...
we're not always faithful
but isn't it amazing how God always trusts in us?
There must be a reason...
eventually God´s faithfulness becomes contagious in us...
we're not always able to control ourselves ,
(probably the hardest of things),
but it's so comforting to Know that the Holy Spirit is in us
and can help us on that too,
bearing that fruit at the right time...

we might not be able to taste every fruit
all at once,
but for each season,
according to our needs (not desires),
God will delight us with the right fruit...

I leave a suggestion if you would like... if you don't have a farm with fruits yourself,  find out which are the seasonal fruits in your local area and buy it from the local organic farmers (if there are still farmers around you)... Then enjoy it! and be thankful if you are able to do that... if not, promote some native fruit planting in your area... that could be fun!

jUsT a tHoUgHt cRoSsiNg mY MiNd...

I 've been having really cool times reading and taking time to do what I often have no time when we have so much work to do on the land...the main reason is because it has been raining "cats and dogs" (funny English expression) throughout the whole week... 

I don´t complain as it is very good for our trees and garden...and for us to take a rest... I love living with natural seasons, and in this region they are really pronounced...

A good thing to do on rainy days is to reply to some e.mails and read some good books... as Maren said, "when it rains, we get smarter"... 

One of the books I devoured , and I highly recommend it to anyone was the " Irresistible revolution "
by Shane Claiborne ...he seems to be one of those Christians who is really serious about following Jesus´ teachings, so most churches have problems with his ideas... That´s actually what makes me want to read his books... he was in Iraq during the war, to protest against it... he has been in jail for defending homeless people´s rights, as every christian should...

While he attended a prayer meeting with some Iraqi brothers and sisters (yes, there are Christians in Iraq), one bishop said to him "we will be praying for you. We will be praying for the church in the USA...to be the church"... 

We should be praying more for those who call themselves christians to be the church who follows Jesus´ teachings, and stand for what Jesus stood for :  Justice, Love, forgiveness, inclusion of all,etc... We should also pray that those who call themselves christians are not standing for what Jesus never stood for : war, use of any violence, segregation, hatred, prejudice, racism, white supremacy, colonialism, slavery, different sexual orientations, women who choose abortion, etc...

I often think about a passage in Hosea 4:1-9...

"1 Hear the word of the Lord, you Israelites,
because the Lord has a charge to bring
against you who live in the land:
"There is no faithfulness, no love,
no acknowledgment of God in the land.
2 There is only cursing, lying and murder,
stealing and adultery;
they break all bounds,
and bloodshed follows bloodshed.

3 Because of this the land dries up,
and all who live in it waste away;
the beasts of the field, the birds in the sky
and the fish in the sea are swept away.

4 "But let no one bring a charge,
let no one accuse another,
for your people are like those
who bring charges against a priest.

5 You stumble day and night,
and the prophets stumble with you.
So I will destroy your mother—

6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.
"Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also reject you as my priests;
because you have ignored the law of your God,
I also will ignore your children.

7 The more the priests increased,
the more they sinned against me;
they exchanged their glorious God for something disgraceful.

8 They feed on the sins of my people
and relish their wickedness.

9 And it will be: Like people, like priests.
I will punish both of them for their ways
and repay them for their deeds."

I don't like when Christians "point the finger" to "the sinners" in this world and don´t look at their own faults, and participate in the unjust system we live in ...

Isn't it our fault? That there aren't more people concerned with justice, poverty and war? Aren't we, "God's priesthood" the ones to point the finger at?

Are we playing our role on earth? Are we taking care of the poor? Actually, are we living with the poor, as the poor? 
Are we seeking justice on earth? Are we not conformed to the patterns of this world?

Who do we think we are, to point our finger at anyone else?

we are not perfect I know... we'll surely never be in this existence... but are we willing to be broken, vulnerable, humble, gracious ,  transformed ? recognising our own failures and constant need of God's mercy and grace !
Who are we to blame but ourselves?

Didn't Jesus say to love our enemies? Look at Paul for instance... he killed a lot of christians and supported those who did the same... and Jesus went to pick him, and transformed him to be one who would protect with his own life those who followed the same Lord he did... After he had his eyes open he could not unsee anymore, and gave his life to show the light to many others... Do we still believe in redemption ? Even of the worst person that comes to our mind...

There was another quote from Shane's book I really liked...it was actually one of his friends who said: " 'Jesus never talked to a prostitute because he didn't see a prostitute. He just saw a child of God He was madly in love with'... When we have new eyes, we can look into the eyes of those we don't even like and see the One we love...we are free to imagine a revolution that sets both the oppressed and the oppressors free."

"The revolution begins inside each of us, and through little acts of Love, it will take over the world. Let us begin to be christians again. Jesus, give us the courage" (Shane Claiborne)

I'm left with this prayer:

I want to pray more... for myself, to be who you created me to be...

for the church to be the church...

and every spiritual enlightened person to be faithful to the path that was presented to them...

for this decaying world to be enlightened and redeemed ...

For us all to know the depths of your Grace...
Let your Kingdom come,
on Earth , as it is in Heaven.
Let your will be done.

Amen

sO mAnY tHiNgS 2 sAy...ViSiTs, LaNd aLmOsT pAiD, GoD hEaRs SiLLy pRaYeRs tOo, eTc... rEaD oNLy iF u hAvE TimE :-)

I have lots to share since I last wrote...and I didn't have much time lately, so, I'm sorry if this will get too long...
I'm using my day of rest to do what I wanted to do for so long...
there's a lot of work now on the land...every thursday and monday we water all the trees, more than 200, that we planted...they are so beautiful, and that's so encouraging !!!

We're also finishing our bathroom which is taking more than a month now, but it has been made with so much love by so many people, that I´m just letting it go...

we're also busy with our veggie garden, which is finally taking shape... sooo beautiful and peaceful to contemplate !!!

LUKAS AND JOEL LEFT US FOR A FEW WEEKS

Lukas and Joel left us after their birth-days...24th and 25th of March... we had a nice barbecue party...Joel brought a generator to have some music on, but it didn't work quite well...anyway, we had fun !!!
The next day we were saying good-bye, as they were leaving for Germany for a punk-rock concert and also for Lukas to see his family and friends... they will hitch-hike back soon... we all miss them here...
The next day we gave Lukas his presents... including a recipe book we all participated in... he was delighted with that ... 

we had our first "community meeting"... it was mostly a time to hear each other's expectations and motivations to be here at this time... it is now the first time after one and a half years that a small group of people consider staying for longer periods... 

me and Ton feel committed to stay for 10 years, Lyna and David who will soon have their baby here, will stay at least one year and Marcia until the summer...

Miri feels this is her home, but she wants to travel around as that is part of her nature (or the stage she is in at the moment)... Maren will go to Germany now to take care of some stuff and she doesn't know yet if this is her place for the moment... Joel will decide when he comes back from Germany and Lukas also said he feels like this community became his family and he will consider coming back after going to Germany for the summer...
It was a cool time and it was good to make things more clear...
One thing I know...this will remain God's for a community...as long as we follow God's purposes, God will be with us... that's what makes this place special to me and to many... 

I believe God will bring the right people at the right time...people who will stay for a longer time...people who will come and go...but God will remain the same...and hopefully the vision for this place will remain forever (whatever "forever" means) ...

MOST PART OF THE LOAN IS ALREADY PAID...THANK GOD AND MANY WHO PARTICIPATED ONCE AGAIN
As most of you know, God is in the centre of the story of this land right from the beginning. I reminded us all about that in the meeting we had, as it is important for me, and it is the foundation of this place...
God spoke to a couple first, who sold their business to buy this land for God... they eventually stepped back and we faced the challenge to buy the land back to God...or better saying, keep it as it was before... so we raised 30.000e in 5 weeks, to pay back to this couple, 10.000 of which were loaned by 2 friends for a year without interest...
Thanks to many of you who contributed to the "magic hat" these last weeks, we were able to gather 6.500e which I already sent last friday, 28th March, to these friends...we have around 2000e more, so we only need 1.500e to complete the full amount of the loan...
Once again, Praise God for being generous and using generous people... thank you all !

GOD ANSWERS SILLY PRAYERS TOO
God answers "silly" prayers too (sometimes I feel my prayers are silly, but I do it anyway)...so, this week I had a couple of those... first for one of our cats, Sambo...she and Duma got sterilized on friday the 28th, and I had to give them shots...I hate that part...so Sambo didn't really like it either, so one morning she just ran away and was gone for 2 days... on the 3rd day in the morning I went to my prayer time and was calling her on the way... I couldn't hold it any longer...I could only cry and asked God to bring her back safe and to not allow any infection in her body... I felt I couldn't just stay there and cry, so I took a bit of cheese from my breakfast and went around calling her... nothing...no "meeaw" anywhere ... I went back to the prayer tent and worshipped God with the others who came (we now have prayer times together from 9-10 am )... As I went back to the kitchen, little Hanna came to me with excitement saying "Sambo is back"... wow, you can imagine my joy and gratitude... God started to speak to me, "Can you cry like that for those who are lost in this world without a family, without a home? can you go after them the same way? I'm so looking forward to bringing them back home"... Wow, I need to chew on this to even know what that means... It is still moving my heart... I want to be crying for those who are lost in life... I want to feel God's heart for them... May this land be a home and a family to many...

The other "silly" prayer was a bit more silly...ok, our water pump broke down...and we need it especially now to water the garden...it takes us at least 2 hours now to water everything every evening...

I had spent the whole day fixing the pipes and when I was ready to run the pump I noticed that the fuel was all gone and dripping somewhere... I was pulling the rope over and over, but nothing... Fuck!n ow what?!! 

we couldn't wait, so we just went back to our old way of watering the garden...I picked as many buckets as I could find, Ton, Marcia and little Hanna came to help and we pulled bucket after bucket from the pond to water all the plants...
we need around 200 litters to water all the plants... but we made it ...  Hanna was our command, she wouldn't stop saying "schneller, schneller" ( it's "faster, faster" in german)... and that made it really fast, and really fun !!!
The next morning in our prayer time I dared to ask God to fix our pump as it was really tiring last day... my faith was not so bold, so I asked at least to get someone who could fix it... after siesta, I was going to the village to find someone who could come and see the pump, but I decided to go check it first... the fuel was not dripping anymore, so I thought about the prayer, and even though I felt silly I decided to give it a try... I didn't even have to try several times as usual, it started immediately ... I couldn't help but laugh, and thank God...

This prayer stuff works, I tell you...

SOME MORE VISITS

we had Juran back for a couple of days, together with Pedro, my cousin from Porto...he's like my brother, we grew up together as our parents were best friends...It was so nice to have him here, even if it was just for a couple of days...

Edna, Paulo, Pamy, Joshua and Nelson also came form Porto to spend a night and a day...it was so pleasant to have them all here...

here's Pamy planting some Cherry trees with me...
Christian also came from Lisbon... what a boy (sorry Chris to call you boy, I hope you don't mind)... it was such a blessing for all of us to have him around...he just carries the presence of God in such a sweet and tender way... he delighted us with his amazing troubadour's romantic heart and songs... Thank you Chris... you are such a beautiful person... he also helped Juran prepare a good "sweat lodge" ...

it was so nice, even though not quite hot and sweaty yet... we need more blankets... And the lodge could have been a bit lower... next one we will improve...

The following was much better, covering all the holes around and making the stones very hot ...wow, so good!!! it's becoming a nice fellowship time as well, for those who go in the sweat lodge, and for the others who stay outside praying and playing guitar until late in the night...
some of the privileges of living in the wild ...


LIFE IN THE LAND

with all the busyness, some storms, some spectacular and some normal things of daily life in the land, life goes on... Lyna and David are almost finishing putting up their Yurt...

shantii, shantii... I guess the next storm will test it ...it's looking good though...
The work in the garden continues... Marcia and Maren are helping

and Julia often joins me to help...

Miri is almost finished with the last details of our bathroom, finally...Ton is always busy with the trees and the upper forest. It's becoming so beautiful as well...
It's been very good to have the prayer time in the mornings, and once a week (we still didn't figure out which day would be better) we have the "Dance Floor", where we'll feel free to dance with the Spirit, being led as The Spirit wants...we never know how it will look like...


CRAZY WEATHER
We've been having some crazy weather as well, with really strong winds, rain and haze

Now a very hot sunny week...
it makes me wonder about God's creation, and how fragile we are before it... 

It´s easier to realize that when we live among trees that bounce around like crazy dancers, like our fragile tents in the middle of the meadow... but we are all safe ...
Another storm is coming again soon by the way...I can hear the thunder already now...I better go take refuge in my hut...
bless you all

PEACE